Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Incoherent Rantings of an Angry Hindu-Part 1

"If it weren't for eye for an eye,I would be blind and the other person would have both his eyes"

Well I am angry today.In fact I've been angry the past few days.The reason is a document called sathya darshini,published by a Christian denomination called new life and spread around mangalore.The reason I am angry is that the document calls my gods names.It calls my ancestor, Sage Vashisht as a person who took his mother as a wife and his other wife as a prostitute.It calls Brahma as idiotic and Krishna as a evil man.That got me angry.What got me more angry is the complete repression of this document in the sickular media.As those certified hindi haters Rajdeep Slurdesai and Suckerika Ghosh were going on about the Bajarang Dal in Mangalore,they conveniently forgot to mention this Document.It doesnt serve there purpose na.
Now I shall my interpretation of the events.You've had the side of slurdesai and suckerika.Now hear me out and then decide.
After Nikolas Sarkozy scolded our Prime Minister about the 'massacres' i heard him condemn the violence in reply in reply.What i din hear him do was condemn the hateful literature and the slanderous activities of the missionaries (and i concluded he belonged to the 3rd sex.Bloody incompetent Sonia-Feet-Licker.)As a hindu I am tired of my religion being made fun of.And then criticized for venting it's suppressed anger.What do we do then?That the missionaries are luring poor people with cash is a fact,but no one accepts that.(I personally know people).And rabid missionaries go on wantonly converting people with with inducements.Conversions affect the balance of society.The society in mangalore has evolved over a thousand years with a right balance of every interest.What these missionaries are doing is upsetting this balance which has been achieved after a lot of trail and the error.
And the best part.The Mangalore Catholics,who have a beautiful syncretic hindu christian culture, don't support the conversions.And what you saw on tv was them opposing the attacks on their churches .What the media wont tell you is that most of the conversions are done by fundamentalist American Protestant Christian organizations,awash with money from the states.(The nut heads of the dal obviously wont know this distinction,)In fact the catholic church discourages conversions.These christians even try to convert catholics,so rabid is their belief.The relatives of these missions run sex slave camps and have teen boy fucking priests.So the next time you criticize the bajarang dal,look who you are supporting.
My solution to mangalore, please bring in the anti conversion law that yeddi was talking about ASAP
The situation in orissa is admittedly more complex and volatile due to centuries old ethinic tension.But heres the lowdown.A VHP aid worker,87 year old Swami Laxminand ji was killed by the maoists in August.Ergo, the question pops then why attack the Christians?Well the reason is the good missionaries had a part here too.Heres what slurdesai wont tell you........
The district of Kandhamal lies bang in the middle of the red corridor created by the maoists from malikanagri to bhubaneshwar.Now, Kandhmal is their weak link and they dont have much support here.The reason is,yes you guessed it right,the Vishwa Hindu Parishad.
The Kandhs of the district ,largely tribal are allied with the vhp,mainly due to to the charitable work of the swamiji.So the maoists tried to seek the support of the other sc community in the district, the panas.So who helped them there?Our good christian missionaries,for the panas are largely Christian.So my enemy is your enemy funda came into work and the maoists bumped off the old swamiji.Thus we lost the bulwark against the reds in orissa.Missionaries happy,Maoists happy!!! Simple.So the next time you decry the violence in orissa look who you are supporting(the maoists)
The Larger Picture
Although I am not justifying the violence here,I am not condemning it either.we hindus must realize we are the victims of years of repression my the muslims and to some extant th christians.But to keep the secular veneer over our sham democracy we act like we are the perpatrators of the injustices.This must stop.Every time theres a bomb attack the media goes on about the root cause of terrorism and about the alienation of the Muslims.If the hindus start using the root cause theory everything will go back to the massacres of millions of hindus of this land by the Muslim armies.If we analuse the growth rate of hindus and muslims over the years ,there are at least 6 million hindus less than there should be.This is the Holocaust they dont teach you about in schools.

My next post will be a small theological rebuttal of conversions.
A wierd post script
The nun,whose rape you heard about,was apparantly raped many times.
First by a single man inside the church.In the next account she was apparantly raped by a gang,still inside the church.Next by a gang outside the church in the street.Next account,gang raped again on the street,this time stripped too (with a graphic and titillating description of the order of the clothes)

Fair Reporting?You decide.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Disaster At Arnala Part 2

My last post was about politics and my world view.But this Blog is dedicated to Team BhakPics with which i spent my last days in hostel.The team is displaced now.Arjun must be fooling around with Jindal.Handoo was anyways too arabic for my taste ;).But my heart goes out for Sohit in sad house where the aromas of mafco and gd must be wafting in through the window.But he cant breathe any of those because he must be stinking with a bullshit.I have sent my invitation to sohit so may be he'll post some thing soon.
But for now lets get back to the story.
So here we were walking towards swagat beach resort where the best part was that it was unlimited.Burpi was as usual irritatingly leading the way.If you want to know how to cross the thin line between leading a group of people towards a destination and grossing them out with your burpi in actions.So,we reached swagat beach,avoiding any further trouble,in spite of Burpi.I could see the hard on that sohit was getting thinking about the unlimited pieces of chicken leg as we turned into the road leading towards swagat.However we were in for a disappointment.
Swagat Beach Resort was a 60 40 plot with a 10 feet swimming pool and children slide.If there was an overstatement made by a word,then it was the 'resort' in the swagat beach resort.The Unlimited 'food' counter was the kind that you get in bus stop canteens.Pathetic really.The disappointments on sohit's face was so apparent that you could wipe it off.Sad.We clearly were not going to get into it so we set off again under the leadership of colonel burpi towards a better beach resort.
After walking along the arnala beach,if you called it that,and we reached arnala beach resort.It was our last choice clearly,and having nowhere else to go, we paid 400 bucks each and got in.The start was nothing eventful.We had the bullshit breakfast and stripped down to our swimming costume and entered quote swimming pool unquote.There was some music and we danced to it.It was quite boring actually and the only wothwhile thing to do was touch and feel khazanchis luscious body.Which i did to the fullest extant possible.After some frolicking around we ate the unlimited food.Felt kinda sad for sohit as he couldn't get his chicken leg.After lunch we had a small nap and there too burpi,true to his spirit,irritated me majorly.Standing on top of me as i was sleeping with a wet pair of shorts.I felt so gross.Did he think of himself as kareena under whose skirt I'd like to peep?
So we frolicked around a bit more in the resort and soon went out towards the beach,barefoot like assholes.I dint go into the water but the others did.I just sat on the beach looking at the setting son.May be i had prescient knowledge of disaster.
Anyways we went back to the resort and did some more stunts.Burpi played ball with a group of losers while we attempted some water stunts invented by khazanchi.It was fun really and we didnt know how time passed.I got bored of it and went outside and dried myself.In fact, I was looking forward to getting out of there and visiting the jivdani mandir in virar (w).May be the goddess dint want it,cause soon after, disaster struck.
It all started out innocently.Sohit came up to me and said with an idiotic face"chal blue slide mein chalte hain".I declined,thinking to myself that what the devil had gotten into him.Sure enough he went into the slide and came back just as soon.But now his feet was leaking red.Being holi,my first reaction was that it was just red water from the pool.But it was blood.Sohit had a 4 inch cut on his feet,caused by a faulty tile in Sohit's much beloved blue slide.we soon got Sohit to the seating area,leaving behind a trail of red.Soon burpi had Sohit wincing in pain trying to stop the bleeding.Burpi was dabbing fists full of turmeric powder into the wound while Sohit was trying not to cry.We somehow bandaged sohit and got him outside into an auto and took him to Mahalaxmi nursing home.Soon he was in the hands of a doctor who was who was trying to sew his leg up.He seemed a competent enough to me but burpi was calling him an RMO,with a smirk on his face,whatever that meant.Each time the needle sunk into Sohit's feet his facial muscles contracted and came together.We could tell he was in great pain but he wasn't showing it.And while this was happening burpi was making a video recording with his punarjanmik dopod,calling it saw 4.The overwhelming feeling that I had was that of embarrassment.
Soon enough Sohit was all sewn up and we decided to go back to Mumbai.Our auto rickshaw driver was a kind soul,but a bit prone to exaggeration.Apparently a snake had bitten him on his hand and he had chopped of that hand to stop the poison from spreading.And sure enough,the hand in question had grown back miraculously.
Soon we were in virar station and boarded a train to andheri where we took a rickshaw.Buurpi of course figured in 2 more altercations 1 with me about the route to mumbai university and another with swapnil as he touched his cheeks.
So it was a quite ending to quite an eventful day.I am making the timeless by making a blog.
No offences meant to anybody folks.All was written in good humor and must be taken to be so.

The villain in the whole piece was my "girlfriends' " room mate.It was because of her positive review of arnala that i agreed to go there.Otherwise this whole thing wouldn't have happened.
And guys please don't go to arnala.It sucks!!!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

U.S. And Us

I have been following the American elections avidly on T.V. and the internet.In these times of uncertainty,I believe its the single most important election that we know.These election might define how america fights its,and the worlds,troubles.Because all said and done its still the most important country in the world.It goes down then so do we.
However the point of this post is the difference in our society and theirs,as inferred from their elections and ours.And the points that make are ones to be thought over.
1-They have leaders who they can look up to we have nobody.
America now has 2 genuine heroes running against each other.Sen McCain is great war hero who lead his men admirably in the 76 war.He didnt come back to the States even when he was given a chance to leave his prison because all his men were'nt released.Thats a hero.Barack Obama was brought up all over the world has graduated Summa Cum Laude from Harvard Law.We obviously dont have men from army to lead us but I'd love to have a look at the educational profiles of our many yuvrajs.I'm sure that we wont have many inspiring stories.The point is when i go out to vote i will not have many men whom i can look up to.Of course if i have to choose idiots i'll be spoilt for choice.
2-Our politicians are Pussies
Out of the many things that i observed in the american elections the most tlling was the fact that both the VP nominees have sons who are fighting in Iraq.Sons of our politicians,after living up their lifes,knocking up girls,getting columbian gfs,doing drugs or some gundagardi here and there,settle down peacefully into papa's business.Or go join reality shows.Disgusting really.Show me one yuvraaj who has had a record of public service prior to joining politics and i'll show you a pig that can fly.Can you imagine a politician sending his son to the army in India??Hah dream on.
3-We are not funny.
The best perspective that I've had about america is from the late night comedians.And boy are they funny.They are a joke factory and the kinds of jokes they crack on politicos show how really well entrenched freedom of speech is in america.And the fact that they can laugh at themselves.Those kind of below the belt jokes in India would have invited tod fod of the T.v. offices.If this were america I'd have surely known where the hell the columbian gf of a particular yuvraaj went.The major inference we can make from is this is that we respect authority too much.We are afraid to crack jokes on people on power and they are not sporting enough to take it.The way we treat people of authority with too much o undeserved respect can be seen in the laal batti cars.We expect,almost want people in power to behave unreasonably,to jump queus,to distort merit to forward kith and kin.
4-They expect a lot from their candidates.,Humko,sab chalta hai
I have said a lot about the U.S. candiadates so lets have a look at our candidates for prime minister.
The congress doesnt know who its candidate is.The incumbent has'nt won any elections in his life time and will come lst in the 2nd standard elocution competion of a municipal school.The psuedo prime minister cant speak hindi.She has answerd as many tough policy questions as many times I'had sex.And i am a virgin.
The third front candidate is a certified thief.Its really disgusting that vermin like that can run for prime minister.I dont have much to speak about that.
The only man in contention who is a good speaker and has a good governance record is advani.But hes simply too old to lead this nation.

These 4 were the most telling differences that i thought were the most telling.
More about the causes and implications of these diffrences in my next post.